He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not…

Posted: February 17, 2012 by Handy in Life
Tags: , , , , , , , ,


So seeing that it’s not only Black History Month, but the month Cupid flies around with his chubby cakes and shoots people with love arrows, I figured we venture to the left and give an uplifting post of black love. Below is a quote from one of the late great men of the African American race, Marcus Garvey.

A happy but miserable state in which man finds himself from time to time; sometimes he believes he is happy by loving, then suddenly he finds how miserable he is.  It is all joy, it sweetens life, but it does not last.  It comes and goes, but when it is active, there is no greater virtue, because it makes one supremely happy.” – Marcus Garvey

Now this quote is interesting to me, because he states in his quote that love makes man not only “happy but miserable”! Now first thought is that, this is a contradiction, how is this possible? But when you think about it,  he is comparing love to some type of drug. Crackheads use crack, cocaine, heroin, etc because of the joy they feel when they are high, even though they know physically they will be miserable afterwards. I find this to be intriguing, because all of at some point in our life, we have loved even though it might have been hurting us at the time, whether physically, mentally or emotionally.

But to the point, female friends always ask me questions such as, “How do I know he really likes me?” or “I don’t know if I should give him a chance, I don’t want to be hurt again?” Women, you have to try the wine, to see if tastes good right? You have to go into every situation as if its the start of a new game, not just the OT of the previous game. You know that friend that you have had forever and even when you shot him down, instead of giving you the cold shoulder, he was a man and stayed your friend right? That’s the man you should try giving some attention. You know the guy you go to school with and he may have mentioned to you one day “Oh I see you goin to the library at 330 everyday, I just was wondering what class you take in there?” Instead of giving him the People’s Eyebrow, give him a chance. He’s not stalking you, he’s just observant and obviously something about you made him remember your face, even though there is 3000 OTHER WOMEN here that I could give my attention to.

Me and my coblogger were discussing a few days ago how some of our favorite stories we have heard in our lives came from our oldheads. You ever ask your grandparents how they meet and they give you something like this “Well, I lived beside your grandma for 10 years and for the first 8, I never said anything to her. Then one day, I decided to say Hi and when I did she didn’t say anything, but she grinned back. So after a month of saying Hi’s and her just grinning back, I asked her why she never speaks back, I think that’s rude of her. Then she SMILED and I realized she had braces. She told me that she was too embarrased to open her mouth. And that’s when I told her ‘Braces or not, you will have always been beautiful to me’ And everything after that was history” Those are the relationships that last a lifetime, the 30, 40, 50 year marriages that all women yearn to have.

Point is, NO MAN IS PERFECT! No black man, white man, spanish man or asian man, regardless of how we look, we all make dumb decisions, PERIOD, but some of those men are learning how to be men so even though they might have slipped they haven’t fallen. This means that their heart is in a good place, but they just don’t know how to deal with this emotion called love. Since we were kids, we were taught slogans such as “Money Over B*@!#es” “Never Love these Girls, Only Love This Money”, so we have to reprogram ourselves when we are older to learn not only to accept love from women, but to learn how to love them back the way they deserve. So women, stop giving every man that tries to talk you on the street the stiff arm! Give him a chance, if he presents himself the right way, what do you have to lose honestly? Every man isn’t trying to steal your heart and you never know that guy you gave a chance at the supermarket on Monday, can become your husband one day, that’s the beauty of this game called Love we play!

I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 years now and our relationship started with a simple “Who wants to walk my friend Thelma home?” Funny now that I think about it because I definitely walked about a mile out my way that night. But then that one right turned into another night, then another and another, get the picture? And Lord knows she wasn’t giving me the slightest of chances, but I was persistent. It took one of her best friends to tell her “I don’t know why this guy likes you because you aren’t giving him any attention” for her to realize that I actually liked her. She was so blinded from hurt in her past relationship, that she could not see the possibility of love presented right in front of her. But as they say the rest is history and by no means, have I been the perfect boyfriend, but we have worked through our problems and we stand here today together and stronger than ever. We need that black love in our race to flourish again, so let’s get to it. And remember ladies, you have to give him a fair shot because you will never know if he loves you or he loves you not if you don’t

  1. Good Times B says:

    Good article!

  2. Admin says:

    I really enjoyed this post, go to BFABP.com for like content.


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