BACKlikeWEneverLEFT

As we move through the year quickly, I look up and notice June is upon me.  Not only is June here, but we are nearly halfway through the month, and the year for that matter.   As I realized it was nearly the third weekend in the month, the thing that was crossing my mind was that we hadn’t done a post this month.   (Don’t worry good people; we have been in the lab.  Forgive us for our delayed posts; both of us have been quite busy. )  With that said, I heard somebody make reference to FATHER’S DAY coming up, and I didn’t even realize how close it was.   Holiday’s rarely creep up on me, but this one has.   Looking at the dynamics of the holiday, I’m sure most people overlook the day.  People know weeks in advance when mother’s is coming, but for a holiday nearly a month later, it manages to fall under the radar.  For people to remember FATHER’S DAY, would imply they are celebrating a father.   Having been fatherless for years, I can see why it slipped my mind.  Since I was reminded, it got my mind wandering again.  For some reason, when my mind starts to think, I feel the need to share with everybody.  I thought about the real meaning of the third Sunday in June, entitled “Father’s Day.”  I didn’t just think about the meaning of the holiday, but the term that we use to describe the day itself.

Father is best defined “as a male parent who assumes as one’s own; take the responsibility.  Traditionally, fathers act in a protective, supportive and responsible way towards their children.”  This is how the term is ‘defined’, but is that what real happens.  Unfortunately I have to disagree, over the years we have lost the essence of  being a father, we have lost real fathers.   Essentially FATHER’S DAY has just become a second mother’s day.  A growing number of women are forced to play both the role of the mother and father.  These women get overlooked rarely receiving the acknowledgement deserved.   I applaud every woman out there, who is doing everything she can to provide for her children.  Enough praise and acknowledgement can not be offered to these ladies.  However, I am disappointed in the lack of fatherhood I continue to see as I mature.

Being a father should mean more than just having a child; it’s not just something you can do just to do.  Some men tend to treat random things better than their child; the dog, their sneakers, their cars.  This is surprising to me, the lack of interest that men attempt to pay their own birth child.  As a man without any kids, but raised in a single parent home, I understand the struggles needed to make it.  I do not have a child, because I have not been ready to raise a child through this point of my life.  Males, who can pick up from where their father left off, puzzle me.   We as a society need to make a conscious effort to reduce this trend.   My friends, who are young fathers, have been working to break this trend.  I can say that every male I consider a friend, is active in their children’s life.   Starting at home, my co blogger is working aggressively to be a good parent to his son.  He doesn’t just take him from time to time; he actually parents his life from a male aspect.  Above everything else, men need think about that perspective; a child needs to be raised from the eyes of a male as well as a female.

Looking around the world there are several different types of fathers or dads, that presents themselves.  The media portrays a variety of fathers, based on the dynamics of the family.  I went a step further and looked up how many different types of “dads” there are in the world.  I happen to come across an interesting article that depicts 20 types of dads.  After reading through I can agree with every category; however for the purpose of this post, I want to touch base on five.  These are the five I feel I have come in contact with the most throughout the course of my life.  First that comes to mind, is the deadbeat, the loser.  This is self-explanatory, I’m this guy is very well-known.  He doesn’t take care of his, doesn’t attempt, and may not even acknowledge they are his.  Over the past few decades, we have grown to love and adore this guy, so much that he can’t go away.   Great job guys, keep those child support people in business.  Next we have the ”I’m here but I’m not here dad.  He is physically there for his children to touch, but he has no connection what so ever.  This is the guy is around, but doesn’t attend any functions, does not pay attention to his child’s interests, and may not really care.  This guy tends to feel his presence is good enough.  Even though his presence is there, it takes more than just that alone, but he does not see that until something major happens.  This father could be raising a criminal, or a genius without any clue of the child’s progress. Great thing about this guy, he tends to make up for lack of attention by offering materialistic things.  He tries to buy the love of his children.  A decent example would be Uncle Phil from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Next we have the authoritative dad, or the boss how I see it.  This father tends to mean well, and the want best for his kids.  However, he gains his love and respect by force.  His children do tend to love him, but are scared of him as well.  He plays a crucial role in the parenting aspect, creating rules and guidelines that his children abide by or else.   Quite often this father makes threats that his children believe will happen, “if you mess up in school again, I’m going to beat your butt in front the school.”  Then there is the provider.  This guy works the most and gains satisfaction by providing for the needs, wants and financial security of the family.  Often times work consumes him; he may work a great job or multiple jobs.  His role as a parent is active, if time permits.  He does miss a few outings, but wants to be there.  Normally the children respect and appreciate him, but understand he is busy.  Finally my last is the balanced dad.  This guy works, but still has time, brags about his kids.  He may take days off to attend certain events.  He does well in many facets of the child’s life.  He serves as a good parent, decent provider; he may offer suggestions on how to improve on aspects of life.  His down side is that he annoys other dads, and his children may be pushed to the max for everything they take part in.

As a society we need to identify these fathers/ dads and with an attempt to help them be successful in their children’s life.  We have become far to content with men being in the first group as oppose to the last.  Motivate and encourage men to be an actual PARENT. For those fathers out here getting it, continue to do so.  It’s FATHER’S DAY weekend, so go celebrate being a father.  I highlighted the holiday every time, to put the emphasis back on the fathers.  The world needs you guys, catch me later good people.  HAPPY FATHER’S DAY both to the men and women out there playing superman to their children.