“I sit alone in my four cornered room staring’ at hammers
Ready to go bananas, Two vests on me, two techs, extra clips on me
I know my mind ain’t playing’ tricks on me,
I ain’t skitz, hommie, ain’t nobody drop a mick on me
It’s like they tryna plot a set on me
I hear this voice in tha back of my mind
Like mack tighten up ya circle before they hurt you”
A piece of a verse from one of my favorite rappers Beanie Sigel from the song ‘Feel it in the air.’ Now given the diversity of the people reading this some of you probably sang along, others got the confused face as you continue forward. Well stay with me for a second as I navigate through my thoughts and your minds. Allow me to explain my madness, rap is my heart and everything in life can be depicted through music. This song more so this portion captures a dark time for the rapper. He is stuck in a room by himself, with nothing but his thoughts. His thoughts are driving him crazy, got him thinking the worst and plotting something dangerous. The voice in his head telling him ‘ to tighten up his circle’ or pay better attention to things in his life. Very crucial mindset to have, where he basically discussing going through a dark phase in life. A dark period is something we can all relate, which brings me to the reasons for this post.
Lately I have been witness to people being in a dark place and trying to figure out the next move. As the avid followers of the site know, my co writer and I speak from experience. Recently both of us as well as close friends have gone through dark hours, (some have last longer than others) but still not the best nonetheless. It’s interesting having the different conversations with people when that moment of dark takes over. Everybody goes through their dark time differently as well as people are in different stages of dark. Picture night fall after work, it’s not as bad street lights may not be on yet, still some sun light, things are still visually manageable. Fast forward a couple of hours later when the lights kick in and stores begin to close. Lights are on because sunlight has left but still somewhat feasible. Continue to later in the night when the dark has set in and visibility is minimal. This is about the time when you try not to be out alone or go down paths you never previously traveled. Last there is the dark right before the sun rises, that morning dark that let’s you know a new day is upon us. Life tends to work in this same cycle matriculating through to next stage of dark/light.
The thing about that is, as people we tend to get caught up in the degree of dark that we are at currently. Understandably so, because it’s easy to lose track of the light. Lets take 8pm, a time when street lights are on in Baltimore. (This would probably be the second phase of dark as mentioned earlier) A person without a watch has no clue it’s 8pm, they just know it’s dark. Panic begins to set in and you question when in the sun coming back out. For those overreacting people somebody may even question ‘is the sun EVER coming back?’ (more…)
