Posts Tagged ‘women’


Hey what’s going on good people, it’s one half of the crew returning. I was told to step my post game up since I stay away too long. Realized I do need to get on my grind for you guys. With that said, let me get on it. As always I was having an interesting conversation with peers. The topic of choice was about cultural dynamics and the togetherness noted throughout different communities. The conversation progressed into several subtopics and the hierarchy found throughout different cultures. Based on the title of this piece I am sure everyone is wondering where I am going with this whole concept. Of course my wheels were spinning again causing me to come on and talk my talk. Walk with me for a minute as I travel this path.

Given that I am an African-American male in my late 20’s I tend to view life as it relates to me first. Then I try to see life from a different perspective and combine the two ideals. As previously stated the conversation was about different cultures and I became so intrigued and disappointed at the same time. The concept of strengthening a community from within appeals to me as a community driven person. As I sat down and viewed other cultures, ultimately I had to compare my own. The black community or African American community is that of which I have always identified, so I speak from what I know. The Jewish and Asian cultures are two of which I believe are structurally intact. They come in, set up shop, profit, bring family in, move on to the next situation. The Jewish as well as the Asian also assist others that may not be family. Meaning if they identify with you they attempt to help you succeed in some form or fashion. I respect that 100%, something unfortunately I feel the African American community has gotten away from.

Naturally everyone has heard the cliché of “crabs in a barrel” but what does it really mean. For those of you whom have been living under a rock all of your life, picture this concept. (more…)

stuck in a box


Growing up you’re bred to work.  Many of us have dreams of the types of jobs we would love to work.   However, as we matriculate through life sometimes we fall short from our dream job.   Other times our dream job may not be a stable money making profession leaving us stuck in the pursuit of something more financially pleasing.   Given the fact that life is expensive,  every one understands.   The thing that we tend to lose is what we want to do verses what we need to do.   I was listening to a Kanye interview he was giving with Ricky Smiley last month that really caught my attention.  Those that know me know that Kanye is one of my favorite artists out right now, so I really locked on his conversation.  He mentioned the concept of not being put in a box, which spoke volumes to me.   I tend to draw motivation from various avenues, often times from the rap world.  With that said, Kanye mentioned in his statement that he was more than a just a rapper.   As I heard those words I instantly understood and knew exactly what he meant.   In my understanding of his ( Kanye’s) interview, my gears got to grinding again.   This time I decided to return to BLWNL to share thoughts with everybody.



So seeing that it’s not only Black History Month, but the month Cupid flies around with his chubby cakes and shoots people with love arrows, I figured we venture to the left and give an uplifting post of black love. Below is a quote from one of the late great men of the African American race, Marcus Garvey.

A happy but miserable state in which man finds himself from time to time; sometimes he believes he is happy by loving, then suddenly he finds how miserable he is.  It is all joy, it sweetens life, but it does not last.  It comes and goes, but when it is active, there is no greater virtue, because it makes one supremely happy.” – Marcus Garvey …KEEP READING!

This Can’t Be Life Smh

Posted: December 16, 2011 by Handy in Media
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The following material was created by a guest blogger.

Ok so, in the past few months there have been numerous videos uploaded to both Facebook & Youtube of young females in term getting “slutted out”. I’m not here to talk about the females, lets talk about us males for a second. Notice I said us, ALL males do dirt! Sorry fellas but its true, The point is some of us take pride in it and do absurd things like record the incident and post it on a social network. What I would personally like to know is, why? What could anybody possibly benefit from this? You are not getting paid and no woman wants a man that can’t keep his mouth closed, so you can’t be doing it for them. Lets be real, as a male, if it’s not involving money or women, we aren’t generally interested. The only other logical reason I could think of is to impress someone. We have already established that females are not intrigued by this act of desperation, so essentially you’re doing it to impress other males! How ironic is it that in your feeble quest to prove your masculinity, you’ve actually manage to come to a plateau where your masculinity is being questioned. Ladies don’t get to hype over this blog, depending on how well this one does another will soon follow discussing your role in this issue. All im saying is, real men don’t participate in acts like this boss. I’m not placing myself on a pedastooI. I am human, so I am entitled to do wrong sometimes too, but how far do you have to go these days until you realize you are wrong? Is your young mind really so engulfed in ignorance that you can’t come to terms with yourself in having a little self-respect? This is not a good look for our generation. As young men we should not inspire to disrespect our women nor ourselves with this type of foolishness, get your ish together!

Why Don’t You Want Me Momma??

Posted: December 8, 2011 by Handy in Abortion
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So I was having a discussion with a friend of mine and she told me something very interesting. She informed me that she thinks she’s pregnant and doesn’t know how to proceed with the next step. On one hand she says she does not “believe in abortions”, but also that she is not ready for a child, so she is considering adoption as a solution. Now my question for her was, “Well if you do not want a child, how did you end up pregnant?” Of course she gave me a rundown of excuses, everything from “I was drunk, I didn’t know” to “well the condom broke during intercourse”. Whatever the way, it did not really matter, that was irrelevant. The second question I asked her was, “Well, if you do not want a child, why wouldn’t you just get an abortion instead of giving up the child for adoption?” Her reasoning was that she does not think she can go through the emotional trauma of having an abortion. My rebuttal for her was you don’t it will be more traumatic to give up your child that you gave birth to a complete stranger. This discussion led me to blogging about this topic. I did some research and I found these statistics interesting. The only study that tracks adoptions in the United States is the National Survey for Family Growth or the NSFG. “About 1.4 million children were born to unmarried women in 2003, comprising 34.6 percent of total births (Hamilton, Martin, & Sutton, 2004). If the relinquishment rate measured by NSFG in 1995 for never-married women were applied to all unmarried women who gave birth in 2003, this would mean that fewer than 14,000 children were voluntarily relinquished in 2003.” This shows that first it is rare to even want to voluntarily relinquish your child. Then it goes to say, “Most research focuses on unmarried teens who relinquish a child. In addition to being disproportionately White, those who relinquish tend to have higher education and income levels, higher future career and educational aspirations, and a strong preference for adoption expressed by the teen’s mother and/or the birth father (Miller & Coyl, 2000).” To me this study showed that, it is not necessarily the women who cannot take of the children giving them away. We hear it all the time from women, I do not “believe in abortions.” That is nice and dandy, but let’s keep it a hundred, of all the births in this world, how many are planned pregnacies? I have a 6 year old son that I love dearly, but lord knows he was not planned. But his mother did not “believe in abortions”, so here we are today. I just do not understand how any woman can go through 9-10 months of pregnancy and then decide that they want to give their child to another person. If DJS knew you did not want your child, ran up in your home and wanted to snatch your child from you, it would be a problem. But if you just willingly give up your child to a stranger, who you have no idea what they are planning to do to your child, then everything is good. I just think that is extremely selfish and that if you do not want this child, why not save everyone the trouble and just get an abortion? It seems like an easy choice for me, but hey to each their own. I keep quoting “believe in abortions” because when women say that, it makes abortions sound like aliens, something we think are out there but really have no proof to support it. Abortions are not aliens, (in my Kevin Hart voice) they are here and they are real! And they happen everyday around the world. We need a new way for women to state their abortion beliefs, how about “abortion free is the way for me”, I think I like that.